And Why This Year I Have Decided to Take it Easy
As a disclaimer, I would like to start by saying that I won't be making snarky comments about New Year's Eve or New Year's resolutions. If you would like to read my snarky comments on these phenomena, you're welcome to read my published works: https://thedreamworkcollective.store/products/frustratedwomensclub
Last year, like every other year, I had decided that enough was enough and that it was time for a change, quite in the manner of Bridget Jones- whom, as many of you would have realised by now, I have come to idolise, despite her social programming. I had decided that I wanted to change everything that wasn't working for me- and that was quite a lot.
I wanted to transform my career from a soul-sucking, intelligence-lowering, energy-draining corporate machine into a huge success and something that was all at once fulfilling and financially gifting. I wanted to revitalise my social circle so that those whom I didn't relate with would be culled out of my life slowly but surely and would be replaced by people who shared interests and dreams with me. I also wanted to author not one, but two new books so that when I say 'read my published works', I don't mean multiple versions of the same book.
And how did that turn out?
I made some progress on the career front. Don't get me wrong, my soul is still being sucked out of my being, my intelligence has to be constantly challenged by things outside of the corporate realm so that I don't forget how to think critically, and my energy is almost always drained out by Tuesday so that on Wednesdays, I invariably find myself having to work from home. But I have made some progress. I was on the news a few times, presenting opinions on important things of worldly significance- which was a personal highlight.
I made some progress on the social front. The order was a bit mismatched, though. The culling happened first and then the hunting for a more relatable social circle. But that didn't leave a huge gap in my life, proving that the previous status quo wasn't actually adding any value to my life. You may ask, but why does everything have to add value to your life? Can't some things just be in your life for a spot of fun and frolic? They can, but something else rather momentous happened this year. I turned thirty. I'm now at the age where I'm finding myself unable and unwilling to make concessions for things and people who are a mere presence in my life.
I did not author multiple books. In fact, I massively struggled to find my creative voice. I chose a topic of significance to my culture, the partition of India. But then the ongoing assault on Gaza made me question my motives, and my role as a voice for the partition of India. What gives me the authority to talk about the story? How can I possibly do justice to this story? Amongst author friends, I have been known not to suffer from Imposter Syndrome while my first book was being published but now, even before finishing the manuscript for the second one, I am struggling.
So, this year, I have decided to take things slowly. Not pressure myself into thinking that I can achieve multiple transformations of multiple facets of my life in the space of a year. I want a burgeoning social life but that starts with finding one person who understands me and whom I understand. I want a magical career where I feel like I am not working but constantly growing. But realistically, some amount of work has to be put in and I am willing to do it. I want to author two books, yes. But also know that authoring one book is a feat in itself and that even though I never had Imposter Syndrome, I never quite celebrated the first one either. So, I will be talking about it more.
I hope the same for you, readers. I hope that you continue to dream big and set yourself realistic goals. I hope that the next year brings more love and happiness to your lives than you could have imagined.
Happy New Year all.
Amandeep x